


Wanna Try?

by wildforwyld



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Drag Queen Ahn Jaewon, Drag Queen Kang Dongho, Drag Queens, Gen, Homophobic Language, Idol Lee Minsoo, Melancholy, Songfic, Waiter Kim Daehyun, mentioned human trafficking, mentioned prostitution, my first one :3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28921758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildforwyld/pseuds/wildforwyld
Summary: It's a cold night,  and Dongho would like nothing more than to go home and curl up with a cup of tea, but he's itching for a quick smoke or two.But of course. Cigarettes always bring back memories.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Wanna Try?

**Author's Note:**

> God i hope this isn't confusing :((( and i hope i did an ok job on this :)) and I HOPE YOU ENJOY i finally finished this yay :D but i don't think i will be able to write a lot in the next week :(((

_ She keeps her Moet et Chandon _

_ In a pretty cabinet _

_ "Let them eat cake," she says _

_ Just like Marie Antoinette _

Another fruitful night, as usual. Hamburger Mary’s has always been the best place to rack up tips, especially on evenings like these where the crowds are hungry, begging for more, where the smoke clouds your eyes, and the time just seems to fly by past you. 

Dongho, or should I say,  _ Vivian Foxx _ , seats himself at an empty spot at the bar, his bust still laden with faux weights and his face still painted, a perfect image completed by his own hand, and his hand only. It was inevitable that he’d become so well versed in the ways of face paint and makeup after all the “beautifying” he does every other night. 

He had just finished a show. A musical performance, contrary to the usual comedy skits he often gets at Hamburger Mary’s. Luckily they’ve got a stage big enough for him to do some quality “shaking and jiving”, as Zahara Dessert (a coworker and new friend of his) likes to call it. 

Dongho pulls out a cigarette—a prime unhealthy addiction, if you ask him. If you’re going to go out, go out with class—and lights it, lifting one leg and crossing it over the other. He’s never been one to enjoy the carousing and partying that comes with being a bar queen that can only afford smaller shows and gigs at a run-down watering hole.

Luckily he does manage to get a break from it on his off days, when he has shifts at a nearby café called Coffee Days.

Yes, it does seem he centers his life around drink and performance. Coffee with a fake smile by day and gin tonics after a perfect show by night.

_ A built-in remedy _

_ For Khrushchev and Kennedy _

_ At anytime an invitation _

_ You can't decline _

  
  


“Hey. You look beautiful. Are you waiting for someone?” A man with a broad grin and scars on his hands approaches him. He grins, waltzing up to seat himself beside Dongho.

“...”

“Well,” The man chuckles awkwardly, resting a large, calloused hand on his arm, “I’m sorry, I just wanted to say hello.”

He stops, watching Dongho’s face as if expecting a reaction. This kind of interaction isn’t exactly new to him, really. Typical guy comes walking up, thinking that Dongho’s a girl. They sit down, buy him drinks and pull out their  _ How-To-Pick-Up-Chicks-In-Five-Easy-Steps _ handbooks, and schmooze. 

Dongho glares at him. That ought to deliver the message, right? He’s obviously not a female, so this usually works for him when there’re guys pecking at his side for attention. Usually.

And as you might expect, Sir Charming hasn’t the balls to give up yet. No, his ego is far too weak, his masculinity too fragile. Imagine what he’d do if he were to find out this is no chick he’s trying to score? Dongho even gets a kick out of occasionally surprising the most persistent of these preying men with his voice, deeper than deep, a simple “Nah.” or “No thanks” to scare them away.

But today, there’s something else he wants to try.

He stands, moving slowly, gracefully to his feet. Smiling, he leans forward, ready to whisper in the drooling man’s ear as he lays a hand on his clothed shoulder. In a false feminine voice, he purrs, “You want me, do you?”

Sir Charming eagerly nods.

“Well then,” Dongho lets his voice drop to a low, biting growl, a smirk playing on his lips as he leans even farther, ”I hope you like dicks.”

The man only stands abruptly, a repulsed grimace on his face and a distraught gleam in his eye. “What the fuck? Fucking fag, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

Dongho says nothing. This is normal, people thinking he’s disgusting simply because he’s a lover of the unorthodox performance. He leaves the bar, extinguishing his cigarette and reaching for a new one as the freezing, numbing air of the outside caresses his cheek and stings his nose.

_ She's a Killer Queen _

_ Gunpowder, gelatine _

_ Dynamite with a laser beam _

_ Guaranteed to blow your mind _

_ Anytime _

Dongho would never do that. He had sworn to himself, to his friends. Never, no matter how bad it gets, no matter how rough life is, no matter how tight the money becomes. He’d never sell his body to the night. Not like that.

It’s degrading to him. He doesn’t believe that being a sex worker in itself is particularly demeaning, but it’s not something he’d want to be involved with. He could never associate his performance with sex, despite the raunchy, sensual movements that make up his usual acts.

Drag is an art form, in his opinion. A spectacular mix of the grandest of cosmetics and the marvelous experience of singing and dancing up on a stage for all to see and hear. It’s addicting, he could never get enough of it. 

Too often it’s played off as something stupid, something that you can simply slap a label on, call it “gay” or “weird” and move on. But what can he say? People aren’t going to change, he knows that all too well.

And he promised, to himself and to his friends that he’d never give up on his standards. He knows what he’s worth.

_ Recommended at the price _

_ Insatiable an appetite _

_ Wanna try? _

Dongho raises the cigarette to his lips, taking in a puff as he leans back to stare at the darkness of the sky. Friends. What a distant memory they are now. At least some of them.

He had dreamed with them once in another life. Nights spent staring up at the sky, hoping, waiting, wishing. They were just kids back then, still untouched by the sticky sweet darkness that is the world he lives in, still not yet tainted by the reality that cripples the hopes and dreams of many, singling out only the hungriest, the ones ready to claw out each other’s eyes for a chance at the greatest of great. 

Imagine, what if he had been one of the hungry?

But he’s not. He was a dreamer, one among many that only wanted a fantasy unattainable, yet so beautiful to watch in it’s glittering, intangible self. And they were dreamers, Minsoo and Jaewon. 

On the other hand, Daehyun...He’s one of those that never seemed to have a spark. It was fine, of course, not everyone has that ambition. But it’s a shame.

Dongho takes another drag on his cigarette. It’s been years since he’s talked to Minsoo and Jaewon...

_ To avoid complications _

_ She never kept the same address _

_ In conversation _

_ She spoke just like a baroness _

Minsoo was always the grandest of them all. His ambition was larger than life, and his drive even more so. To Dongho, he was an inspiration. To Minsoo himself, he was a failure. Under the shadow of a man so brilliant as his brother, nothing seems to impress. Of course Minsoo never failed to remind them of this fact.

But he was a hard worker. Never was he all talk and no action, and Dongho was proud to be a friend of his. He admired him, even if he never did admit it.

Of course, eventually Minsoo got ahead, made friends, and joined an entertainment company as a trainee. He simply went too fast to suit a life like Dongho and Jaewon’s.

One day he ended up just taking off to become an idol for a group called SA1NT, and never looked back at the life he had known with his old friends.

Dongho’s still proud of him, despite the anger and loneliness that gnaws at his heart every time he turns up the radio to listen to their songs, even through the reminiscent smiles that grace his face every time he’d hear a lyric that he recognizes, always remembering those late nights he’d spend writing songs with his best friend.

Minsoo was never really good at working on his own.

_ Met a man from China _

_ Went down to Geisha Minah _

_ Then again incidentally _

_ If you're that way inclined _

Of course, there was also Jaewon, the one that fell through into the drain with him. And God, did he fall.

Such a future he once had ahead of him. He had been a junior in university, majoring in political sciences at one of the best colleges in the country. And how hard he worked at it too. Every night spent studying, every weekend spent out and about making friends with others in his class. He was ready to get what he wanted, far more than Dongho had ever been.

And then his mother died. He dropped out of school, leaving in the middle of his senior year. 

All that hard work gone to waste. A sad waste of what could have been, in Dongho’s opinion. But really, he has no room to talk.

He got a job at a Vietnamese cake shop down the road, working everyday for just barely enough to keep him alive. At least, until they went out of business. 

That’s when Dongho made a decision he came to regret.

“Come be a performer with me.” He told him, “It’s fun, makes enough to keep you happy. Besides, I’ll be here to make sure you don’t get into any trouble with the customers.”

And so, there came the birth of Jo Feline, Vivian Foxx’s dance partner and best friend. They were an inseparable duo, during performances and afterwards.

But of course, with such a life like this there can never be a happy ending. Jaewon hid secrets. Many of them, Dongho suspected, although he had only learned of one. 

“Vivian Foxx” was the real moneymaker, often the one that caught the undivided attention of all the come-and-goers of each new venue they’d cast their spells on. “Jo Feline” was simply a backup, a support to the main act. As you might suspect, Jaewon never received nearly as much as Dongho did during their shows. Seeing as how Dongho only ever made enough to survive in a run-down one bedroom apartment, you might guess how bad of a situation Jaewon would be in.

Needless to say, he needed some other form of income. It was just his luck that this came in the form of participating in activities that Dongho himself never could muster the courage or the desire to do.

He gave himself up to the shadiest of customers. It was a shame, how much he was forced to show off, how much of himself he let be tainted just to survive another week. 

Jaewon never told Dongho himself, but it was a secret meant to be known. He’d see him go off after shows, talking to men like the one that approached Dongho just minutes ago, leading them into private dressing rooms and dirty bathrooms. Makes him sick to his stomach.

Eventually, the night arose and snatched him up, after a particularly shady customer that just couldn’t keep his hands to himself. It was bound to happen, wasn’t it? Pretty men like him always get plucked and shipped away to their worst nightmares like that.

Dongho couldn’t imagine what it’d be like as a woman.

_ Perfume came naturally from Paris _

_ For cars she couldn’t care less _

_ Fastidious and precise _

And then came Daehyun. An old friend of his, one he had been acquainted with but never really known. They had met in secondary school, if Dongho can recall correctly, and then encountered each other once as potential roommates. Daehyun was apparently the most compatible, according to the website Dongho had found just a couple days before their fated meeting.

Over time as they lived together, Dae became a close friend to him. Always there, always supportive, through hard times and those that weren’t as much. “I’ll face it with a grin and never give in!” as he used to say. He’s a normal kind of person, works at a restaurant and got a degree in archaeology or something, Dongho doesn’t know. 

He really looks up to Dae as a person. So generous, observant, bright. It’s almost a shame, really. Sometimes he sees Daehyun, and he sees wasted potential. Sometimes he’ll look at him and see happiness in simplicity. It’s a tossup, often depending on his mood.

But if there’s one thing for sure, it’s how he feels about him. He’s a good friend, after these few years of living together, eating the same food, sleeping under the same roof. Regardless of what he thinks about his life choices, Dongho loves him, and he’d never dare say that Dae failed in life, because he didn’t. It’s just...he had always been raised to step on others, to think everyone unlike him is stupid and worthless. God, what a terrible fate he might have saved himself from, not going to college.

But...is this reality any better?

_ She’s a Killer Queen _

_ Gunpowder, gelatine _

_ Dynamite with a laser beam _

_ Guaranteed to blow your mind _

_ Anytime _

There had been days, old days when he thought he’d be able to be something big. An actor maybe, or a songwriter. Weeks, months, years spent after school going over scripts he’d find online and mimicking the people he’d see on TV. He wanted to be there, behind the screens shown onto every family’s home TV, someone to marvel at, to admire. He wanted to make it to Hollywood, star in all the greatest shows, to Manhattan to dance across stages and fill the room with the sound of his voice. 

Of course, being born in South Korea and later and ‘donated’ to an American orphanage really never did give him much of a future to look forward to. Nevertheless, he worked hard, studying everything he could possibly get his hands on, from taking a couple acting classes outside of school to spending all night reading the works of Stanislavski and Adler until he went cross-eyed.

Yes, this kind of drive from youth is rare. And too often is it found within those that have no chance of ever going anywhere in life 

Dongho only became aware of this when he tried to apply to a college. He had been an immigrant born child, one who’s parents later moved to the US and dropped him off at his orphanage in the middle of suburban Texas. He didn’t even have citizenship. No citizenship means no social security number. 

Sure, college isn’t usually the place you want to go when you’re trying to make it big as a performer, but...the constant reminder that you are an alien in your own home crushes the spirit. 

Even with the hope that there’s a chance he could get into the industry through other sources...Dongho had no will to carry on anymore. And so he gave up. That is, until Minsoo decided to take him for an outing one day.

An outing to a drag show.

_ Drop of a hat she’s as willing as _

_ Playful as a pussycat _

_ Then momentarily out of action _

_ Temporarily out of gas _

_ To absolutely drive you wild _

_ She’s all out to get you _

Only then did the flame within that had blown so wildly before reignite, and over him came a sudden wave, a crashing, deafening flood of the beautiful magic he once called life. It was there with him again, coursing through his veins and poisoning his mind. 

A couple days a week, he’d pick up his clothes, primp in front of the dressing room mirror and perfect his mask, ready to become Vivian Foxx. Every night an adventure, the cheers and laughter ringing in his ear, all the people that looked up to him and marveled at the bright shining star that he was.

And  _ God, _ was he addicted to it.  Whether it was the song and dance or the long nights of standing in 7 inch stilettos and telling jokes to an adoring crowd, it didn’t matter. It became a part of him, and no outer element could ever force him to give it up

_ She’s a Killer Queen _

_ Gunpowder, gelatine _

_ Dynamite with a laser beam _

_ Guaranteed to blow your mind _

_ Anytime _

And yet, despite the love he holds for his job...he can’t help but reminisce. What if he had gotten his citizenship, gone to college, made connections and the like? What if he joined Minsoo in his dream of becoming an idol? Settled for a promised career? What if he saved Jaewon or inspired Daehyun, if he had done something to change their fates? 

But there’s no use in this. He’s not a fairy godmother, they chose these lives for themselves, just as he did for his own. The ambition’s never died within him, contrary to what he believed. Sometimes at night, while Dae’s music blares loud and the lingering mustiness within the walls of the apartments keep him up, he’ll think about what kind of life he’d have if he ever performed on stage, or got a role in a show.

Maybe he could get out of this crazy town, out of crowded dive bars and roaring crowds of drunk couples wanting something new to spice up their romance.

He’s still young. Not even thirty yet. He can make it out of here, maybe get out of Texas and go to LA. Sure, their rent is pretty high, but he can do it. There’s gotta be drag bars looking for people like him somewhere. He can make it out someday, maybe bring Dae along too if he likes.

_ ‘But,’ _ Dongho tosses his cigarette, stomping on it with the heel of his lapis platform boots, _ ‘Now’s not the time.’ _

He heads into Hamburger Mary’s, ready to snatch his pay and get the hell out of there. Dae’s waiting for him at home.

_ ‘Hollywood’s just going to have to wait a while.’ _

_ Recommended at the price _

_ Insatiable an appetite _

_ Wanna try? _

**Author's Note:**

> Join the LiT fic discord!! Please!!! We love seeing new authors :3 
> 
> [Discord](https://discord.gg/Gt8pD8aXfV)


End file.
